Forget the sleek, sterile sheen of an Apple Watch. For those of us who spent our formative years waggling joysticks while gawping at chunky pixels on flickering screens, the Atari 2600 My Play ($79.99, shipping in June) is a glorious, blocky anachronism. It’s a wrist-based time capsule that screams 1977 louder than a roll of beige wallpaper glued to a VHS copy of The Only Game in Town.
But this isn’t yet another retro-themed trinket. Unlike many other watches based on classic games – Casio’s Pac-Man collab; Nubeo’s Space Invaders line – this one attempts to jam an entire 1970s console inside a wearable brick.
Natch, you don’t quite get the complete old-school console experience. Short of the box containing the world’s most ludicrous dongle, you were never going to plug actual Atari 2600 cartridges into the thing. But it does have four built-in classics – Pong, Super Breakout, Centipede and Missile Command, along with alarms that use real Atari 2600 audio. Ever wanted to be jolted awake at 6am, and briefly question whether you’ve been hurled back in time to 1977? Then the Atari 2600 My Play is presumably the watch for you.
Watch it
You might question the form factor. The Atari 2600 has a massive legacy and is no stranger to being reimagined – even as a new version of the original console that plays original carts. But putting one right on your wrist is surely too good to be true. Or, less charitably, about as effective as playing Night Driver to learn how to drive.
The thing is, wrist-based games can work. Modern-day proof comes in the form of Apple Watch titles like Asteroid Commando and Star Duster. These retro-infused high-score chasers cleverly use the Apple Watch Digital Crown like a paddle to control your ship. The Atari 2600 My Play works in a similar fashion, and has a similar-sized screen to an Apple Watch Ultra. Which should be great for Pong and Super Breakout.
The snag will be the other games. Centipede has a virtual stick – bad enough on a phone, let alone a 2in TFT. And I’ve no idea how Missile Command will play. (Well, apart from badly.) A pity, then, that classic paddle titles Kaboom! and Circus are absent. But at least I won’t then be tempted to play them for hours until my limbs seize up and I’m forced to jog about for a bit to loosen up again. Which at least the watch’s Fitness Arcade would dutifully track accordingly.
Console yourself
There are other considerations, mind, if you fancy screaming “GAME OVER!” at your existing smartwatch. The Atari 2600 My Play might lack data tracking and distractions, but that’s because it omits connectivity entirely. Which means there isn’t even capacity for updates. Everyone had best hope someone hasn’t accidentally left out the second bat in Pong then.
And if I’m being realistic, much as the notion of a no-notifications watch might feel like bliss, I still need a device that talks to my iPhone. It keeps me informed. It goes DING! at important times, like when someone’s at the door or my wife sends me a message. I’m not about to be one of those people who start rocking two watches either. So my Apple Watch gets an extra life. Bah.
But wait! Perhaps there’s a third way. If Apple itself loosened up, I could have the best of both worlds. Atari could offer custom Apple Watch faces, Atari 2600 straps and those classic games, all on the smartwatch I already own. Although maybe not the chunky old-school stylings. That might just be a step too far, even if many senior Apple execs lived through that classic gaming era themselves.